I feel great
I just peed on a car
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
