I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
