I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
