He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
