dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
