PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No stitches, just platelets and will power
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
God, I missed his penis.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
