So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
