Already got asked if we're dating
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
