Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
