Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
