I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
