so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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