Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
