I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
