I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
God, I missed his penis.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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