i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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