Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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