We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
