Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
