Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I AM VODKA MAN
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
