I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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