I skipped work to stalk him.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
