Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole

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(631): View more from New York

Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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(206): View more from Washington

But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.

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(586): View more from Michigan

How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....

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