its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
