At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
no you cant smoke seaweed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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