East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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