I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
