cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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