No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
