are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
