1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
