Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he fucked my hip out of place.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
