i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
