Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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