do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
