I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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