You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
