Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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