Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah Iโd say sheโs rebounding from the divorce
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