Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
