the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How's work?
Spinning.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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