we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
