Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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