epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My dick has a subreddit
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
