So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
