I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
