he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
