I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
