i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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