We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
